To,
THE CEO
Poodle Inc.
Dear Sir,
We at the 'Microwave Approval Committee' have seriously considered the request by some employees for a microwave. After much deliberation, following conclusions were drawn:
1) The request for microwave has been summarily rejected as form 1000HRTr did not accompany the application for the microwave. (also refer to (2))
2) The requirement for form 1000HRTr was made mandatory during this meeting by change in bylaw.
3) Form 1000HRTr will be filled for each employee who will have access to the microwave.
4) Form 1000HRTr will certify that the employee has at least 1000+ hours of safe use of microwave training prior to making such request.
5) Once approved, all microwaves will have ID badge swipe to open the door. Thus the use of microwave will be restricted to those employees who have filed form 1000HRTr.
I thank everybody who has voiced their opinion in the 'Microwave Approval Committee'.
Truly Yours,
Ikiss it-Clean
Senior President of Operations
Chairman , Microwave Approval Committee.
3 comments:
CEO: I am very pleased by the results of this meeting. As always, we have given fair chance to our employees to voice their request. This is another example of our democratic way of thinking.
Also I am very pleased with the dedication shown by our Senior President of Operations. Therefore I am promoting him to 'Very Senior' President of Operations.
(Clap! Clap! Clap!)
The one thing that concerns me about this site is that it has missed out on the one major aspect of big business practice without which any chance of cutting it within the context of a prima facie dog eat dog kind of piechart on a screen enviroment is impossible and that is the auditing of paperclips.
Now you may think that paperclips play a comparatively small role in big business but you would be mistaken. How can you put together you bits of paper for your next presentation without paperclips? Just think of a presentation without paperclips and you will see how important the little buggers really are!!
It is imperative that you keep an eye on them. Bill Gates didnt get where he is without individually listing every paperclip in his office enviroment. Alan Sugar was quoted in "Stationary Monthly" as saying "Show me a man who doesn't audit his paper clips and I'll show him the door.It is that vital!!"
Let's face it, with the level of employers we are faced with these days taking care of one's paperclips is a must. I caught one of my employees using one to attach a five pound note to a birthday card. He was out of the door in no time!!
You might say to me,Sir Alec, would you like a peerage? And I would reply "Certainly, how m---... hold on wrong page. erm.... aha... here we are... on the back. That's the glory of paperclips, you see, without them I could have been crawling all over the floor!!
Don't forget also, as well as being vital, they are extremely interesting in themselves. Did you know that different countries have different ways of manufacturing and making the little blighters? The swiss, for example, have the top part just a little bit longer than the bottom part so you can hold more paper wheras the Belgians have......etc etc
Great blog - subscribed!
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