Dear Employees, Share Holders and Board Members
Please do note that I have called above positions in reverse order of importance. I do not want to have any misconceptions about the hierarchy which I revere. I hate to go into the board room to get fired !
Today is a historical moment in the history of Corporate Poodle. Today I shall not only explain the reason for my disappearance from the administration since last August, but also lay out the plan for the future of our great corporation.
Many of the employees have asked me where have I been all these months. Our last microwave meeting was held in August 2007 and without my intervention, it rightfully decided that our employees will not get microwave because of 20 plus reasons.
The board members somehow suspected that I was behind such a "ludicrous decision". So I was placed on a paid leave of absence, while a "Microwave Coercion Scandal Committee" investigated on the matter.
I spent this time at my company provided villa in Maui, Hawaii to ponder on various subjects including how did the board members got so interested in the microwave committee. I found out that few of the affected employees had bypassed my authority and reported the decision of microwave committee directly to board members.
I would love to apologize to those disgruntled employees, but they were laid off yesterday by me due to the tough economic times our company is facing . So I guess apologizing is moot at this time.
I have assured the board members that I shall not interfere in any committees or sub committees decision in any DIRECT manner. But I shall expect all committees to perform their duties and make decisions in favor of the company. And for those who do not know it, I represent the company.....[CLAP CLAP CLAP].........(To be continued)
Please do note that I have called above positions in reverse order of importance. I do not want to have any misconceptions about the hierarchy which I revere. I hate to go into the board room to get fired !
Today is a historical moment in the history of Corporate Poodle. Today I shall not only explain the reason for my disappearance from the administration since last August, but also lay out the plan for the future of our great corporation.
Many of the employees have asked me where have I been all these months. Our last microwave meeting was held in August 2007 and without my intervention, it rightfully decided that our employees will not get microwave because of 20 plus reasons.
The board members somehow suspected that I was behind such a "ludicrous decision". So I was placed on a paid leave of absence, while a "Microwave Coercion Scandal Committee" investigated on the matter.
I spent this time at my company provided villa in Maui, Hawaii to ponder on various subjects including how did the board members got so interested in the microwave committee. I found out that few of the affected employees had bypassed my authority and reported the decision of microwave committee directly to board members.
I would love to apologize to those disgruntled employees, but they were laid off yesterday by me due to the tough economic times our company is facing . So I guess apologizing is moot at this time.
I have assured the board members that I shall not interfere in any committees or sub committees decision in any DIRECT manner. But I shall expect all committees to perform their duties and make decisions in favor of the company. And for those who do not know it, I represent the company.....[CLAP CLAP CLAP].........(To be continued)
No comments:
Post a Comment