Dear Employees and Shareholders,
We are in a very extenuating business environment as you all know. CorporatePoodle is doing very good even though the media has reported 90% loss of income for CorporatePoodle Inc. This is all preposterous. My accountants have reassured the board that this estimate by the media is atleast a 1 % exaggeration. So I wanted to share this encouraging news with you all.
I am not a CEO who frets on the past. I move forward in to the future. I want to move into the future with all of you. Well! not all of you I guess since we have decided as a company to lay off our 90% of our employees. Please do not get discouraged. Those who get laid off will still contribute to our company's success as we will be leaner (By the way I also joined a weight loss program to get leaner 'wink') and more efficient.
For those who will stay with us will have the opportunity to show their best performance by sharing the workload of those 90% who are contributing by not being around. It is a win-win situation for all of us.
In addition I am hiring a new assistant to the team of ten assistants in my office so I can share my workload and have some time to contemplate our future at the Golf Club.
I know you all have several questions and concerns and it is my duty to answer them. We have a suggestion and comments box in which you can put your questions and comments. I assure you I will look at every single one of them.
Pssst.. Hey Johnny, collect the boxes after my speech and throw it into the river. The fishes need them more than me.
Ahem ... So we march forward into a bright and pleasant future where CorporatePoodle will rule the world of Business.
Thank you for being here with me :)
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